Long time no Blog

Ok, so as you may know I had a blog malfunction but the great wizard of computers (B) has fixed my problem. Not a whole lot to blog on, just updates into my crazy life! Lynsey my dog is doing great ( we have our issues here and there). I really want to talk about something that happened to me last night. I was reading my nightly email and I cam across a particular email from my step sister. The back story is.... I suffer from bi-polar......sometimes I become so outraged that I can not be reasoned with. I feel when I get like this it is in my best interest (at the time) to distance myself from my family and children. I usually leave and start feeling "normal" after a week. After that comes remorse for leaving them. So I live w/ guilt for a few weeks more and finally talk myself into going home. I would go home immediatly but of course I think everyone hates me and thinks I am a bad person. I have done this a few times. I also am not proud of it but at that point in time my mind assures me it is either leave or kill myself. Well, this last time I was gone for 3 weeks. My husband and MIL have learned to inform my children that I am on a vacation so they don't hurt to badly. Well last night my step sister told me to watch a program about mothers who leave their children and to see the hell I put my kids through. Well I wrote her back and said she has not tried to help me with my illness or to understand it so don't judge me. I also said I know I have problems and I am taking medication and trying to work through them. She wrote back and said I have more then problems and I am stupid and never write her again. Thats fine.......I have no problem w/ people who do not care to understand my issues. However don't write hateful things as it does not help me mentally. I do better if you just don't talk to me. What I don't understand is that only my husband and MIL have went 2 my doctors w/ me. They are the only ones who try to help me and not put me down. They know I have a different thought process and the only way I can get better is with support from friends and family. However friends and family disowned me and want nothing 2 do w/ me. I don't feel sorry for myself I just wish they could grow to understand. Hell half the time I don't have answers for me so how can I have answers for them? I was just diagnosed like 3 years ago. I had to recently quit taking my meds so I could better care for my kids w/ out being tired. It backfired though cause I got depressed and left. They didn't care about that stuff though. I try just like evryone else, except I have to try harder. Being in a relationship is hard with bi polar disorder let along having 6 kids and married. So if you are reading this and you have been quick to judge someone maybe you should go back and find out why that person did those things cause alot of times it is not because they are stupid or selfish. I hope I have not offended anyone.